“Thoughts and prayers are the most common countermeasures to bullets, explosives, or automotive impact.” Beirut, November 9 – Observers of Middle East arms movements have noticed an ongoing effort by the Shiite militia Hezbollah in Lebanon to augment its arsenal ...
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Feed SubscriptionBakery Waits Week After Sukkot To Make Sufganiyot, Loses Kosher Status
“This delay is unacceptable,” stated Rabbi Amok Tiegen. Jerusalem, November 7 – A confectionery and baked goods establishment in the nation’s capital has been forced to forfeit certification that its products conform to Jewish dietary practice, after inspectors from the ...
Read More »Syrian Refugees Demand Eternal Limbo Like UNRWA Gives Palestinians
“Hey, that’s not fair,” objected Muhammad Chalabi, 45, a father of six originally from a Damascus suburb. “I don’t want to rebuild my life.” Near the border with southern Syria, Jordan, November 9 – Former residents of Syria who fled ...
Read More »Israeli Doctor Hasn’t Been Asked To Harvest A Single Syrian Patient’s Organs
“I could swear this is supposed to be part of my job – I read it in those Algerian and Libyan journals, and in all that literature from Palestinian human rights NGOs.” Safed, November 9 – A surgeon at Israel’s ...
Read More »Sarsour Launches #MeNeither Campaign After Racist Israeli Refuses To Grope Her
Within minutes, a dozen responses to the original post had come in. New York, November 8 – Brooklyn-based women’s and Muslims’ rights advocate Linda Sarsour accused Israel of racism today after an Israeli on the subway had the opportunity to ...
Read More »Gov’t Project To Build Toilet For Flushing Away Money Goes Way Over Budget
“This kind of overflow in spending obviously requires attention, but it would be unwise to assume it can be sustained over the long term.” Jerusalem, November 8 – Ministry of Finance auditors have found that an initiative to construct a ...
Read More »Tempted By Your Offer To Lead Labour, Mr. Corbyn, But Hamas Needs Me
By Ismail Haniyeh Dear Mr. Corbyn: I am in receipt of your communiqué from Wednesday last, in which you made the generous proposal to form a partnership with you in shepherding the UK Labour Party toward victory in future elections. ...
Read More »Palestinian Egos Insist Israel Wants Control Over Cesspool That Is Gaza
“We will lead the Resistance to liberate Al Aqsa,” they chant, indicating that a firm grip on reality is not what characterizes their assessment of the situation. Gaza City, November 6 – Residents of this coastal territory on the Mediterranean ...
Read More »Anti-Israel Bible Skeptics Suddenly Willing To Believe Account Of Canaanite ‘Genocide’
Acceptance of the bloodthirsty-conqueror-and-occupier descriptions applies in those academic and political circles only to the historical periods of Joshua and modern Zionism. Nablus, November 1 – Academics and public figures who under normal circumstances dismiss the early events in Jewish ...
Read More »Theorists Struggle To Posit Israeli Move Not Deemed Blow To Peace Process
“We will continue our work,” one scientist was quoted as saying. “But so far the results have proved disappointing.” Stanford, November 1 – Scientists testing the principles of theoretical physics have so far been unable to create hypothetical situations in ...
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