“No human phenomenon is visible from space, at least not at this point in world history.” Memphis, January 24 – Credulous inhabitants of Pharaoh’s kingdom continue to maintain that the dramatic departure of the Israelite slave population from the country ...
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Foul play has not been disproved. Heaven, January 18 – Supernal sources are reporting that the winged, angelic beings of this realm keep crashing into the pristine glass windows after assuming nothing is there. Archangel Raphael, who oversees medical affairs, ...
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“Compared to the evidence for a workable Two-State Solution, the idea that the Rebbe is Moshiach is a slam dunk.” Crown Heights, January 10 – Adherents of the belief that the late Rebbe of the Lubavitch Hasidic movement did not, in fact, ...
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The situation isn’t going to improve just because people are resetting their calendars. Eden, January 2 – Heavenly sources reported this evening that the Creator and Ruler of the Universe has issued numerous guffaws over your baseless assumption that the ...
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Assuming it does will only result in prolonged unnecessary suffering for everyone involved. Jerusalem, January 1 – Talmud scholars rushed to issue a proviso to a famous teaching today, warning that while most people are encouraged to view the universe ...
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“It is permissible to temporarily pretend not to be a Torah-observant Jew so that one may speak his or her mind without facing trial by media for incitement.” Har Bracha, December 26 – Jewish religious leaders in Israel have begun counseling their ...
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Included in the ruling are humans, many of whom are descended from slaves once owned by Muslims. Jedda, December 20 – A religious official in this major Saudi city issued a ruling today that all money in the world belongs ...
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“I’m getting a little sick of it.” Jerusalem, December 13 – An athletic, toned worshiper at a local synagogue has grown tired of his default role as the one who raises the open Torah scroll to show congregants the reading, ...
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The most common combination is Fatah-Hamas. The Underworld, December 7 – Eternal punishment for Palestinians who devoted themselves to political violence involves sitting and listening to the bragging claims of other, competing militants, a spokesman for the Afterlife revealed in ...
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They wouldn’t, rachmono litzlon, want to end up like the Chasidim, whose gyrating, dynamic dance moves are downright scandalous. Bnei Brak, November 30 – Scandal erupted this week in the world of Lithuanian Orthodox Jewry when a yeshiva student introduced a ...
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