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In Palestinian Jihadi Hell, Terrorists Forced To Hear Rival Groups Boast

The most common combination is Fatah-Hamas.

HellThe Underworld, December 7 – Eternal punishment for Palestinians who devoted themselves to political violence involves sitting and listening to the bragging claims of other, competing militants, a spokesman for the Afterlife revealed in an interview.

During a talk with PreOccupied Territory journalists Thursday, an assistant demon disclosed one element of the unforgiving treatment jihadists have earned in Gehenna. In addition to being shown the prosperity, achievement, and moral superiority of their enemies, the demon explained, these terrorists have implanted in their brains a never-ending recording of rival jihadist fighters and spokesmen boasting that their own group surpasses all others in ideology, methods, and body count.

“It’s one of the things they hate most,” noted the demon, who does not rank high enough in Hell’s hierarchy to need a specific name. “The most common combination is Fatah vs. Hamas, since they despise each other even more than they despise their declared Jewish enemy. So in between sessions of having their eyelids pinned back and putting their heads in a vise to prevent them from looking away as we show them Israel growing, flourishing, and becoming ever more devoted to sharing their success, we subject them to hearing bombastic declarations by the other one’s figures in praise of his movement and in denigration of the one listening.”

“This of course is in addition to having them witness repeated declarations by Muslims that Israel is a beacon of light,” he continued. “Sometimes we go all out and have the jihadists become apes and pigs for the duration of the session, since they seem to invoke that so much in the context of Jews. It all depends on the day, and what kind of mood the Prince of Darkness is in. It’s usually dark.”

The demon noted that while not all Palestinian terrorists in Hell formally lived as Muslims, the difference between their treatment and that of their believing colleagues is discernible only in the details. “The Communist atheist terrorists didn’t subscribe to a formal religion, no,” he observed. “But they had articles of faith just as strong – and their devotion certainly had religious fervor. It hurts and shames them just as much as the next terrorist to see and hear how wrong they’ve been when we show them Israel at its best, and how the terrorists chose never to be even remotely that good. And it feels just as awful to them when we showcase the prosperity, humanity, and care of ideological rivals or opponents.”

“Now if you’ll excuse me,” added the demon, “it’s time for Yasser Arafat to be sodomized with a star-of-David-shaped glass bottle with the Hamas logo.”

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