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IDF Finds Second Hunter Biden Laptop In Gaza Tunnel

“Beau died in a Hamas tunnel,” responded the president. “He was a hero.”

Khan Yunis, April 4 – Israel’s military continued clean-up operations in this former Hamas stronghold, where, according to a spokesman, the materiel they captured in one underground passageway included a computer that apparently belonged to the already-legally-troubled son of the US president, containing compromising information of a criminal nature.

Lt. Col. Barib Yariel led reporters through an area of this city in the central Gaza Strip that Israeli infantrymen, with help from tanks and drones, had cleared of enemy fighters dug into positions in apartment buildings, schools, mosques, medical facilities, and private residences, and he indicated a hole in the floor under a child’s bed.

“Here we found another Hunter Biden laptop,” he stated.

Yariel declined to offer many specifics regarding the laptop’s contents. “That’s part of the Intelligence Corps’ job,” he demurred. “At this stage, from what little I know, the only thing that definitely exists on that machine is more footage of Hunter snorting coke and, uh, consorting with women of ill repute.”

A Biden administration representative dismissed the reports as “Russian disinformation.” “We’ve seen this playbook before,” remarked White House Press Secretary Karine Jean Pierre, with a shake of the head. “Remember what came of that?”

Analysts noted that in fact the first Hunter Biden laptop, initially dismissed by the White House, the Democratic Party, and a pliant media as fake, was real. The IDF has not yet indicated whether this second laptop also contains information or recordings of illegal business dealings by the Biden family, including Joe.

A journalist attempted to ask the president about the reports as Biden headed toward the Marine helicopter for yet another weekend vacation. “Beau died in a Hamas tunnel,” responded the president. “He was a hero.”

Joe Biden’s son Beau died of cancer in 2015.

The discovery, if confirmed, raises questions about Biden’s sharp shift since October away from full support for Israel’s operations to neutralize the Hamas threat and rescue hostages, toward restraining Israeli actions for fear of upsetting Hamas’s patrons Iran and Qatar. The White House’s immediate dismissal of the find as Russian disinformation dovetails with that shift, and colors the administration’s efforts to build a floating pier via which to unload aid in the Gaza Strip. Some analysts believe the makeshift port operation sees the aid effort only as a secondary purpose, with the primary aim the locating and securing of the laptop before Israeli forces could. Now that Israel possesses the device with its compromising content, the entire floating port operation faces cancellation, under the pretext that enough aid reaches Gaza anyway since Israel does not restrict any food or medicine deliveries to the territory in the first place.

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