Lady, Will You Stop Screaming? I’m Trying To Stab People Here

The obstacles are formidable enough without your banshee impression.

Jerusalem, February 28 – Ma’am, how is anybody supposed to accomplish anything with you yelling like that at the top of your lungs? I’m trying to stab as many Jews as possible before I get shot, and I can’t concentrate properly with you wailing.

This isn’t as easy at it looks. I have to grip my weapon just so, to apply force in the right direction at exactly the right moment to cause it to penetrate my target’s body in exactly the right place to inflict the most damage possible, and I might have to repeat the motion multiple times. That takes focus. I can’t have you ruining my concentration with your incoherent shrieking. I’ve got a mission to accomplish.

Is it because you’re a woman that you’re given to such displays of vocal hysteria? Get a grip, lady! I’m trying to kill people here. Yeah, so I’m stabbing people – just shut up about that for maybe a minute, until somebody shows up and neutralizes me – then you can go ahead and holler your head off. A little consideration, please. Do I go around screaming bloody murder when YOU’RE doing something important?

It takes intense psychological preparation to perform these acts. The obstacles are formidable enough without your banshee impression. I had to work up the will to go through with this attack, select a sharp implement, conceal it, penetrate the various security measures, and acquire my targets. That’s not something anyone can do easily even without a high-decibel cry of panic piercing the air. It’s downright near impossible when someone IS yelping like some damn air horn. Put a sock in it. I can’t stab or hack anyone effectively if I have to cover my ears from your wailing.

If you want to summon the police, be dignified about it and use a phone. The contrast between my deliberate attention to what I’m doing and your visceral, ugly – not to mention pointless – yawping shows the difference between a dignified approach and whatever it is you’re doing. Forget basic consideration – have you no self-respect?

This is getting infuriating. Lady, I haven’t even stabbed YOU yet. Just shut your pie hole! My goodness, what does it take to get some peace and quiet around here so I can just get stuff done? What ever happened to old-fashioned manners? Who raised you? Wolves? Wolves howling constantly at the moon?

I’m telling you, it’s enough to send a fellow into a murderous rage.