The rest of the world can then develop in peace, absent the ethnic and ideological tensions that have stymied regional advancement for at least a hundred years.
Tel Aviv, July 17 – Researchers at Reichman University in Hertzeliya have developed a high-tech solution to the till-now-intractable conflict between the Jewish State and its neighbors opposed to Jewish self-determination: impose on the “anti-Zionists” a virtual reality environment that allows them to experience the thrill of victory over Zionism that they seek, but that renders them harmless in real life.
The scientists have already approached Israel’s political and military leadership with a proposal to develop the project, disclosed lead researcher Sophie Barlowe.
“This is probably the most nonviolent solution to the age-old conflict that anyone could concoct,” Barlowe stated in an interview. “All it does is trap the Israel-haters in a mind-loop that they forget each time it repeats, so it never loses its novelty and they experience the triumph each time as if it’s the first time. All the while, the rest of the Middle East, and the rest of the world, can develop in peace, absent the ethnic and ideological tensions that have stymied regional advancement for at least a hundred years.”
Israeli military and intelligence officials have sounded a cautious, if optimistic, note. “The lack of kinetic military force here is appealing,” acknowledged a Mossad representative who spoke on condition of anonymity. “It raises ethical questions, of course. But ethical questions of ‘liberty’ and ‘cognitive freedom’ pale in comparison to the number and quality of lives saved with this new technology.”
Israel’s foes – as well as figures whose careers and fame depend on sustained opposition to Israel’s existence and security – responded to the idea with an uncharacteristically open mind.
“If we have to acknowledge reality, reality hasn’t been kind to us of late,” admitted Myron Gaines, the Americanized name of propagandist Amrou Fudl. “My allies and I have the audience we do precisely because there’s an appeal to the simplicity and predictability of a world controlled by a sinister cabal. It’s much more troubling to accept that there’s randomness and suffering can be arbitrary, and that my failures are my own, not the result of someone else’s malice. Honesty demands that I consider this solution, because, if I’m going to be honest for once, I have to internalize that my side is never going to win, certainly not permanently.”
“Also,” he added, “I’m just plain curious what it’s like to feel victory instead of the momentary excitement of hearing that Jews are suffering, only to have that followed by a massive correction in the other direction, like October 7 and then everything since then.”
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