Obama Tries On Hitler Mustache As Precaution Before Photos With Netanyahu

Washington, DC, March 3 – As part of his preparations for his scheduled talks with Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu, President Barack Obama has tried on several fake Hitler-style mustaches in case the Israeli premier’s finger again casts an unfortunate shadow, as it did when Netanyahu was photographed with German Chancellor Angela Merkel last week.

Aides report that Obama has been experimenting with the Hitler look in front of a mirror extensively, at several points even combing his hair across his forehead in the manner of the Nazi leader. No one has questioned the president yet about his intention, but one White House official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, talked of overhearing Obama muttering, “That Bibi won’t put one over on me,” presumably referring to Netanyahu by his popular nickname.

Analysts expressed surprise that Obama would appear so sensitive to comparisons with Hitler, an analogy that has become de rigeur in all forums of political discourse to demonize one’s opponent. “There’s no shortage of garbage out there already likening Obama to Hitler,” said Alan Dershowitz, a Harvard professor and known Israel advocate. “I’m not entirely certain why this particular potential slight would hit a nerve with him,” other than possibly the sense among supporters of Israel that Obama kowtows to sponsors of terrorism against Israel; makes demands for Israeli concessions to Palestinians without similarly pressing Palestinian leaders to take even the most basic steps toward conciliation with Israel, such as not using school textbooks to teach their children to grow up seeking Israel’s destruction; or sides with those who seek Israel’s destruction in opposing a Jewish presence beyond the 1949 Armistice lines.

A second White House aide, also speaking anonymously, voiced concern over the president’s seeming more and more attached to the Hitler look as the day progressed. “I saw him steal away to the bathroom on several occasions to practice it,” said the aide. “But it was more than just the mustache and the hair – I could swear I saw him check out what a Nazi salute would look like.”

For his part, Netanyahu seemed unperturbed by reports that Obama was trying to avoid falling victim to his finger’s shadow. “It’s an understandable concern, but comparisons to Hitler are out of bounds,” Netanyahu said, reflecting that Israel recently banned use of the word “Nazi” as a political slur. “Frankly, we see him more in the mold of statesmen such as Neville Chamberlain.”