Obama White House Now Dar-Al-Islam, Can’t Be Relinquished To Non-Muslims

The situation poses a challenge for Islamic theologians, who remain divided on how to handle the impending violation.

Washington, September 19 – Islamic scholars are weighing in on the proper course of action in advance of upcoming US presidential elections, noting that with Barack Obama leaving office in January 2017, it is wrong under Islamic law to allow a non-Muslim to assume the office after him, as that would violate the rules governing the treatment of territory once conquered by Islam: they must remain under Islamic rule.

Obama’s second term as president ends on January 20, at which point the winner of the November 8 election will succeed him. Neither Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton nor Republican candidate Donald Trump is Muslim, and among the crop of third- or fourth-party candidates, not a single Muslim has mounted a serious campaign. The White House under Obama attained the status of Dar-al-Islam, the domain of Islam, which under Islamic principles may never be relinquished to the forbidden infidel domain of Dar-al-Harm. The situation poses a challenge for Islamic theologians, who remain divided in how to handle the impending violation.

The mainstream approach in the Islamic world involves patience, explained Imam Hussein Malia. “Spain – al-Andalus – hasn’t been under Islamic rule for more than five hundred years, but that doesn’t stop us from yearning for it to be returned to our hands once and for all. Conquest can only go one way in the Islamic conception. Now that Barack Hussein Obama has secured an Islamic foothold on Pennsylvania Avenue, it cannot be permitted to revert to the infidel control of a Donald Trump or a Hillary Clinton.” He spat as he pronounced each name.

“Many of us are trying to engineer that reclamation sooner rather than later,” added his colleague, Imam Rashid Khalidi. “That can be accomplished directly through violence, of course, and plenty of Muslims can be found to engage in that effort. But in my opinion, it is possible for the achievement – the Reconquista, if you will – to take place on a less literal level, at least at first, with a president willing to be as accommodating and forgiving of Islamic violence as Obama himself has been. After all, he is not technically a Muslim either, but that doesn’t stop us from claiming his occupation of the Oval Office as a blow for Islam.”

In practice, said Khalidi, that means a more circumspect reaction to the prospect of a Clinton presidency, and perhaps even a Trump victory. “There’s no reason to panic over this temporary setback when other serious assets are still in place,” he noted. “The State Department has been Dar-al-Islam since the 1940’s, and that is unlikely to change anytime soon.”

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