Jerusalem, March 30 – The maker of the Get Out Of Jail Free cards necessary to secure the freedom of dozens of Palestinian prisoners incarcerated in Israel has been unable to meet demand for the product, resulting in delays in the next expected round of prisoner release surrounding Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.
Parker Brothers, which produces the cards, has hit unexpected snags in their manufacture. Israel has no alternatives to the orange cards, as Parker Brothers has a monopoly on the product. Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas has tied continuing the negotiations to implementation of the release, but Israel insists it remains unable to do so.
Company spokesman Marvin Gardens explained that Parker Brothers currently lacks the manpower and ink required to make the cards, and is not expected to have all the materials in stock until at least the middle of April. “Supply problems have dogged us for some time. We haven’t been able to iron out the kinks in production despite several last-minute deliveries by four different railroads and, on one occasion, a car,” he said, noting the relatively short line of production that, in general, cold accommodate delays. “We had a backup plan that was a shoe-in, and my hat goes off to our workers, but the thimble truth is, a barrow-full of problems has stymied us at every chance.”
The Jewish holiday of Passover begins on the night of April 14, and the Israeli government will all but shut down for more than a week. Any delivery of the cards, and their subsequent use, would have to wait until close to the end of the month, by which time the Palestinians may already decide to declare negotiations a failure and roll the dice on unilateral moves in international forums to pressure Israel into capitulating.
The previous prisoner release proved particularly traumatic to Israelis, as it included a large number of Palestinians who had murdered Israelis. Having rent their garments over the affair, many Israelis see any further release as mortgaging their future against highly unlikely returns.
“Netanyahu is emptying the community chest and we gain nothing in return,” said a spokeswoman for families of the victims of terrorism. “It is time to stop giving murderers a free pass. As it is, we treat these monsters far too well while they’re imprisoned. We might as well be putting them up in houses and hotels. Our families’ lives are not bargaining chips.”
“This bankrupt proposal will not pass Go,” she stressed.
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