Treasury Imposes Tax On Use Of Phrase, “In A Normal Country…”

Criticism of the measure was not long in coming. “In any norm- I mean, this is no way to go about making or enforcing public policy.”

Jerusalem, January 25 – Tax Authority officials announced today the imposition of a charge for every verbal or written use of the phrase, “Bim’dinah m’tukkenet…” roughly translated as, “In a normal country…” or any variation of it as a way of critiquing Israel’s government or culture.

Authority spokesman Klee Schay told reporters this morning (Wednesday) that the new tax will take effect at midnight on February 1, one week from today. According to Schay, it aims to limit public exposure to the toxic phrase, or at least to generate revenue from its rampant use.

“For too long, Israeli citizens have suffered as the offending phrase is tossed about,” he explained. “It assaults the sensibilities, erodes trust in communication, and causes an unhealthy increase in bile. With the cooperation from the ministry of Health and the Ministry of Environmental Protection, we gained government approval for this tax, and will enforce it vigorously as of February 1.”

According to documents released by the Authority, the 50-shekel tax will be levied for every occurrence of the phrase in a person’s or organization’s rhetoric. In severe cases, such as broadcast interviews or online media with wide exposure, the amount will quadruple, and any entity with a propensity to use the phrase more than once every 24 hours will be slapped with an additional 5,000-shekel fine.

Criticism of the measure was not long in coming. “This is an embarrassment to free speech,” asserted HaTnuah leader Tzipi Livni. “In any nor- I mean, this is no way to go about making or enforcing public policy. I’m no enemy of heavy taxation, but this is ridiculous. In a- damn it. I’m going to have to get used to this.”

Meretz vowed to fight the new tax. “In any normal country this would never pass,” stated a defiant MK Ilan Gilon. “We have already filed a High Court petition to strike down this tax as unconstitutional. In a normal country, you wouldn’t have such government meddling. I mean, unless we and our allies were running things. Then we’d meddle the bejeezus out of everything not to our liking.”

The means of enforcement of the new tax remain unclear. Spokesman Schay cited the Authority’s power to freeze or impound finds in bank accounts, as well as to collect physical goods in the possession of tax offenders, as tools to help bolster the measure. In, uh, in other places with, uh, other cultural and political characteristics, one might surmise that such a development would not occur.

At press time, the tax status of the previous sentence was yet undecided.

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