Beggar Scores Low On TripAdvisor: ‘Rude Service, No Wi-Fi, Would Not Recommend’

“I’m not begging, I’m curating an experience,”

Jerusalem, February 18 – Shoppers and tourists wending through the alleys and main thoroughfare of this city’s Mahane Yehudah market can now post online reviews of local panhandlers, and one such candidate has found his rating tank as visitors log their encounters with his poor attitude, entitled demeanor, bad hygiene, and constant getting-in-the-way, the man disclosed today.

Sasson “Itchy” Buzaglo, a fixture near the bustling shuk’s main entrance for over a decade, currently sits at a dismal 1.4 stars out of 5 on the newly popular “Jerusalem Street Experiences” section of TripAdvisor —unofficially dubbed “SchnorrerScorer” by locals. The platform, which emerged last year as an ironic extension of the site’s restaurant and attraction reviews, allows donors to rate panhandlers on criteria like “location convenience,” “ambience,” “value for money,” “staff attitude,” and “cleanliness of facilities” (read: cardboard sign and general presentation). An even newer sections allows users to rate the creativity and humor of the panhandler.

“Overrated and disappointing,” wrote one verified reviewer from Tel Aviv, who donated a 10-shekel coin last Friday. “Prime spot with great foot traffic (5/5 for location), but service abysmal. Asked for ‘something bigger’ when I gave him exact change, then sighed like I’d insulted his family going back eight generations. No eye contact, no thank-you. Zero gratitude. Would not recommend. 1 star.”

A tourist from New York complained: “Gave him a crisp 20-shekel note, and he handed it back saying it was ‘too new’ and looked suspicious. Demanded non-sequential bills next time. Hygiene also an issue —sign was crumpled, smelled like yesterday’s knaffeh. Felt judged for my donation choice. Skip this one.”

Buzaglo, reached for comment while strategically blocking the path to a halva stand, defended his standards. “I’m not begging, I’m curating an experience,” he insisted. “People think ‘anything helps,’ but I have a brand. Crumpled bills? No vibe. Pennies? Insulting. If you’re going to support the arts — and let’s be real, my sign work is performance art — you should bring your A-game. I even added a QR code for Venmo last month, but half these tourists still use cash like it’s 1995. Don’t call me entitled. They’re the entitled ones.”

The reviews keep rolling in. A German backpacker docked points for “aggressive upsell” after Buzaglo suggested upgrading from a shekel to “at least a coffee contribution.” A local food blogger lamented: “Beautiful market views ruined by passive-aggressive muttering. Gave leftover boreka — refused it, said carbs don’t align with his dietary preferences. 2 stars, mostly for the drama.”

At press time, Buzaglo’s rating had dipped to 1.3 after a one-star bomb: “No Wi-Fi hotspot, no seating area, and the host ghosted my contactless payment attempt. Worst street experience in Jerusalem. Avoid.” Market regulars remain unfazed. “He’s always been picky,” shrugged one produce vendor. “But now at least we can warn people: check the reviews before you give.”

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