Experienced Fan Camps Out 3 Days In Advance To Secure COVID Test

“I just hope I don’t get screwed over the way I did a few other times, and some scalper winds up with all the tests before I can get mine.”

Jerusalem, January 20 – A local resident believes his dedication to acquiring tickets to performances in high demand, which often includes spending a night or two at the box office to await the first available sales, has prepared him for the arduous task of waiting in line for a procedure that determines the presence of the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, the man disclosed today.

Mile-long backups of vehicles and queues hundreds of people long at testing sites have become a familiar sight here and elsewhere in Israel as the number of COVID cases increases, bringing a spike in demand for the tests of those who had come into prolonged contact with positive cases. One enterprising Jerusalemite, however, expressed reliance today on his years of experience camping out for concert and event tickets to prove invaluable in affording him access to such a test at the first moment they become available.

“I’ve done this at least a dozen times before,” boasted Ohad Rollingstein, 50. “All those times I set myself up with a sleeping bag, a couple of times even a tent, with provisions and batteries and all the necessities, right near the ticket window of whichever venue or arena – that’s gonna pay off for me big time now. I mean, it sort of paid off then, too, the few times I was able to score tickets that way. But it prepared me for this, too, it turns out. I just hope I don’t get screwed over the way I did a few other times, and some scalper winds up with all the tests before I can get mine.”

The omicron variant of COVID has proved far more infectious than its predecessors. While vaccination has shielded infected people from most of the virus’s severity, inoculation has little to no effect on the pathogen’s spread – meaning even the immunized can become vectors to infect others, including the immunocompromised or others at high risk of severe illness and death. Public health guidelines have taken on a schizophrenic character that tries both to contain the virus and acknowledge the inevitability of near-universal infection; the current throngs descending upon testing stations all over Israel – especially in major cities – testify to the unintended consequences of mandating negative test results to resume everyday life but allocating insufficient personnel, venues, and materials to make the endeavor worthwhile.

Rollingstein anticipates putting his accumulated camping-out-for-tickets experience to use up to ten more times before public policy catches up with reality.

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