Famous People Have Died 50% Of Days Local Dad Has Given Hanukkah Gifts

Avrahami, a plumbing contractor, admitted feeling torn, as he has been planning a buildup over the eight-day holiday toward an impressive finale on the last night.

Gan Yavne, December 27 – Area father of 3 Ron Avrahami voiced apprehension today regarding a possible link between his Hanukkah gift-giving and a spate of celebrity deaths, local sources are reporting.

Children in the Avrahami family reported this evening that following the deaths of Carries Fisher and George Michael, their father is troubled at the correlation between his giving presents to them in honor of the Festival of Lights and the premature demise of famous people, principally from the entertainment industry. So far, they note, half of the days on which they have received Hanukkah presents from him have coincided with such deaths, leading Mr. Avrahami to consider refraining from giving any more gifts this holiday.

“Dad is usually on the lookout for ways to avoid spoiling us, but he seems really worried this time around,” observed Tal, age 11. “At first this struck me and the other kids as just another way for him to avoid showering us with material possessions, and we were rolling our eyes. Then we saw the look on Mom’s face, and then on his, and we realized he actually means it. He’s scared there’s a real correlation here, and he doesn’t want to take any chances.”

Adi, Ron’s wife, added that Carrie Fisher and George Michael were not the only notables to die half the time she and her husband gave Hanukkah presents in 2016. “The author of Watership Down also died today,” she whispered, unwilling to confront the full potential enormity of the emerging calamity. “That means it’s possible the gift-giving can kill more than one famous person at a time, if it kills that day. It’s actually worse with the uncertainty of it all – if there were a direct one-hundred-percent correlation at least there would be some predictability, but it’s even crueler this way.”

Avrahami, a plumbing contractor, admitted feeling torn, as he has been planning a buildup over the eight-day holiday toward an impressive finale on the last night: a family vacation to Europe. “Each of my gifts has been kind of a hint,” he explained. “I got everyone a big jigsaw puzzle of the Eiffel Tower on the first night – and then we found out the next day George Michael was dead. On Sunday night I got each of the kids some tchotchke make in France or Italy. No one famous seems to have died as a result. But then I gave them some trivia and games about Europe on Monday night, and Carrie Fisher died – just when everyone thought she was getting better after that heart attack. I almost couldn’t bring myself to give them the next gift this evening – sets of playing cards with various European capitals featured on them. I hope this isn’t for real.”

He conceded he might nevertheless take the chance on following through with the entire gift schedule. “It might not be so bad if the guy who kicks the bucket as a result is someone such as Roger Waters,” he surmised.

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