The current inversion of justice surrounding the world’s encounter with Islamic terrorism represents a qualitative deterioration in humanity’s moral capacity.
Jerusalem, November 22 – The Almighty is revisiting His commitment not to destroy civilization once again as humanity continues its downward moral spiral, sources close to the Creator reported today.
Several ministering angels shared details of consultations with the LORD over the last several months, the content of which involved the legal and technical feasibility of eliminating most or all of the human race to rid the world of the depravity that has now become commonplace. While God promised not to bring devastation upon all of humankind following the deluge that spared only Noah and his family, the angels said He has been conferring with Heaven’s legal department regarding ways in which that covenant, represented by the rainbow, might be circumvented.
“The ongoing genocides in Africa, Syria, and Iraq are just the beginning,” explained Archangel Uriel. “There’s the oppression and violence all over the place, as well as rampant falsehood, twisted priorities, corrupt leadership, and cultured steeped in selfishness – but that’s nothing new. What put this generation over the top, prompting the LORD to wonder whether the covenant in Noah’s time was a mistake, is the weak reaction of the supposedly enlightened world to massive religious violence,” said the angel, in reference to the halfhearted response of so many in the Western world to the immanent threat of continued Islamist terrorism.
Legal experts are divided over whether God will find a convincing enough argument to overturn or bypass His promise not to destroy the world again. “A divine promise is a divine promise,” insisted Elijah, who favors a strict interpretation of heavenly commitments. “I see no reason to think that this episode of depravity, as screwed up as it is, should alter the Almighty’s approach to His creation, which, let’s face it, was never intended to be a realm of pristine, robotically obedient creatures.”
Others contend that the current inversion of justice surrounding the world’s encounter with Islamic terrorism represents a qualitative deterioration in humanity’s moral capacity. “The modern context does not allow for plausible protestations of ignorance, the way people could claim not to know that millions of Jews and Gypsies – or for that matter, Chinese – were being killed en masse during World War Two,” said Metatron. “It’s quite possible that the vow not to destroy humanity again simply doesn’t apply when evil is staring them in the face and they can’t bring themselves to confront it directly.” He noted that in contrast to earlier cases, the world’s apparent unwillingness even to name Islamic terrorism as the current scourge constitutes a willful denial of reality that betrays a fundamental refusal to pursue good and fight evil. As such, said Metatron, the Rainbow covenant might not be applicable in the first place.
Metatron added that contrary to popular perception, simply destroying humanity by some means other than a flood would in fact be in violation of the promise, since the term employed in the book of Genesis, where the covenant is recorded, translates not merely as “flood” but as “devastation,” which would rule out a facile loophole such as thermonuclear war or an asteroid impact.
I do love me some Jewish humor, and the above is the Jewishest joke in just about forever!