Officials found no fentanyl on board the craft, just as the various Gaza flotillas carried no food, but did find marijuana, cocaine, and several cases of cheap beer.
Sacramento, October 23 – A climate-cum-Palestine-cum-progressive–cause-of-the-day professional activist faced imprisonment today for the third time, a spokeswoman announced, following yet another maritime attempt to deliver humanitarian aid, this time in the form of narcotics to a West Coast enclave besieged by hostile populations.
The United States Coast Guard detained Greta Thunberg and two dozen others Wednesday aboard a flotilla of three boats approaching San Francisco Bay with, the activists claimed, vital supplies for the junkies of the Tenderloin, Mission, and other districts of the iconic Northern California city.
“This morning, the United States Occupation Forces perpetrated a brutal seizure of our team’s vessels,” read a statement from Sumud, the group that has organized other Greta-centric “relief” flotillas to the Gaza Strip. “The suffering people of San Francisco face a genocide at the hands of fascist Zionists, and our crucial aid can make the difference between a successful final stand and the ethnic cleansing of an indigenous population.”
Coast Guard officials disclosed that they had actually found no fentanyl on board the craft, just as the various Gaza flotillas carried little or no food or medication that organizers claimed to be delivering as critical. Officials did, however, catalog drugs that the activists themselves used, such as marijuana, cocaine, and several cases of cheap beer.
Activists allied with the flotilla called the interdiction of the flotilla “barbaric” and vowed dire consequences for the Coast Guard and for US leaders in general. “This will go to The Hague!” yelled commentator Cenk Uygur. “The US has forfeited its right to exist, if it ever had one,” remarked the leader of a group calling itself the Young Turks, after the dominant political faction associated with Ottoman genocide of Armenian Christians during and after the First World War.
Other activists claimed that the Coast Guard abused them. “Not even a halah roll with deli meats on it,” complained Ashamnu Bagadnu, the domestic partner of detained flotilla participant Kishinu Oref. “They were given some sushi roll and rice crackers, with, I think alfalfa? That has GOT to be in violation of all sorts of international conventions on human rights.”
Human rights lawyers cautioned that unlike Gaza, San Francisco is not recognized as an armed conflict zone, to which the various provision of International Law governing such conflicts may not apply.
Thunberg is set to be deported back to her native Sweden over the weekend, pending court hearings and the resolution of a thorny diplomatic hurdle in the form of Sweden not wanting her back.
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