Israel Photophopping Heads Onto Brainless Palestinian Assailants

“Israel is calling these events planned, but someone with no head, and therefore no brain, is incapable of premeditated action,” said Amnesty International researcher Jacob T. Burns.

Hebron, November 9 – Palestinians claim Israel is tampering with the evidence regarding the people shot by security forces for stabbing attacks, saying that Israel is doctoring photographs and video footage to show that the suspects actually had heads.

Palestinians, most of them youths, have perpetrated dozens of stabbing attacks on Israelis in the last two months, the majority of which ended with the assailant shot. Widespread disbelief that any youngsters intelligent enough to tie their shoes would engage in such a manifestly stupid activity has led to the persistent conviction in Palestinian society that Israel is staging those events as a pretext for prolonging the Occupation, and altering the evidence that now purportedly shows those alleged attackers in full possession of a head with a brain in it.

“They must think we’re stupid if we’re going to fall for such obvious chicanery,” said Seffa Lektmi, whose son tried to stab soldiers guarding the Tomb of the Patriarchs. “My son was always brainless. There’s no way he had a head when those soldiers shot him.”

Human rights groups have similarly questioned Israeli assertions regarding the attacks. “Israel is calling these events planned, but someone with no head, and therefore no brain, is incapable of premeditated action,” said Amnesty International researcher Jacob T. Burns. “It is therefore quite suspicious that people involved in a manifestly brainless behavior are suddenly, in Israel-supplied photos, shown with a full-fledged head that we are supposed to believe houses a brain.”

Palestinian skepticism of the Israeli accounts has not been restricted to images. The families of several assailants fatally shot while attempting to stab Jews are claiming that Israel tampered with the bodies of their loved ones by adding heads before providing the corpses for burial. “I don’t know whose head this is supposed to be, but this hair looks awful with Fat’hi’s clothes,” sobbed the deceased’s sister Marri Shelli. “And they didn’t leave any obvious stitches, so we can’t even tell where his neck ends and the impostor head begins.”

Earlier Monday morning, a knife-welding woman approached soldiers at a checkpoint, and, according to IDF accounts, was fatally shot when she refused to drop the weapon. While Israel says she was carrying a suicide note, Palestinians dismissed that as planted evidence. “There’s no way that’s authentic, and I can’t believe they think they can get away with insulting our intelligence, brainless or not,” said analyst Aima Dahmi of the Ma’an News Agency. “No self-respecting Palestinian family would allow their daughter to read and write.”