Man Who Believed ‘Israelis-Are-Fleeing’ Propaganda Frustrated By Crowded Restaurants, Trains

Unfortunately for him, Israelis flocked to, not from, their homeland in the aftermath of October 7.

Jerusalem, September 18 – A visitor to Tel Aviv and Jerusalem voiced his disbelief and disappointment today after days of encountering too many people for his taste at various leisure venues and on transportation facilities, despite loud, repeated claims by Islamists and their sympathizers since October 2023 that Jews had abandoned the country en masse and that the collapse of the Zionist enterprise was imminent.

Forty-year-old Tim Iddity, who suffers from severe social anxiety, had looked for a vacation destination where he could enjoy the sun, take in archaeological sites of interest, and enjoy top-flight cuisine, but his research into various locations indicated that unless he was prepared to shell out almost twice as much as his budget allowed, he could not spend the requisite amount of time anywhere with a sparse enough population or tourist presence – except Israel, which must be much emptier than it used to, since the mainstream and social media content that Iddity consumes had led him to believe that hundreds of thousands of Israeli Jews had fled in the aftermath of the October 7, 2023 massacres in southern Israel and the war that has continued ever since.

Unfortunately for Iddity – a musician and private chef by trade – Israelis flocked to, not from, their homeland in the aftermath of October 7, and, with the near-total defeat of Israel’s enemies that once launched daily rocket barrages, tourists have begun returning to prewar numbers and locals have again flooded the buses, trains, roads, bars, and other venues.

Iddity’s first indication that he had misjudged things came during boarding of his United Airlines flight to Tel Aviv at Newark Liberty Airport. “The gate area was way to crowded for me,” he recalled with a shaky voice. “I could brace myself for the number of people waiting to check in, only because I had assumed so few would also proceed to my gate. But the gate area was basically full, and that meant the plane, too…”

“Anyway,” he gulped, “I finally got out of there and through passport control, hoping to get on a spacious train to desolate Tel Aviv – remember how Iran destroyed almost the whole city? It was all over social media! – and… I didn’t have a single empty seat next to mine. The whole trip. I was going to DIE.”

Iddity continued his lament, recalling the packed restaurants, streets, cafés, and beaches of Tel Aviv – and that Jerusalem offered no respite, not on the train into the city, not on buses or the light rail, and not in any of the sites he visited.

“I read that late at night is the best time to see the Western Wall,” he whispered, near panic at the recollection, “so I went this past Saturday night at around midnight…”

Please support – our work through Patreon.
Buy In The Biblical Sense: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B92QYWSL