Obama Jealous Palestinians Get To LITERALLY Stab Israel In Back

“I often still yearn for that hands-on involvement in causes in which I believe.”

Washington, January 21 – US President Barack Obama expressed support for the Palestinian struggle for statehood today, admitting that he harbored some envy for them over the fact that he is currently forced to settle for stabbing Israel in the back only in a figurative sense.

In a phone call with Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas, the president reaffirmed his country’s commitment to helping the Palestinians achieve the dream of an independent state, and voiced solidarity with his counterpart’s approach to ending the generations-old conflict. Obama said he would continue to empower Iran, the archenemy of Abbas’s enemy Israel, to pressure the latter into concessions, and encouraged Abbas to continue inciting his people to attack Israelis with knives, since that avenue of pressuring Israel is impractical for the Obama administration under current circumstances.

“I told President Abbas that the US remains committed to a Palestinian state living in peace and security,” the president told reporters after the phone conversation. “I said my administration will stand by is efforts in international forums to pursue that end, and facilitate its attainment where we can. But I also stressed that the outcome is not entirely in the hands of the United States – that the Palestinian leadership and people themselves bear some responsibility for making things happen on the ground. The current stabbing intifada is something that only the Palestinians themselves are in control of, and they should be proud – I, unfortunately, must make do with non-literal back-stabbing of Israel.”

Obama has presided over an unprecedented erosion of trust between Israel and the US, most intensely surrounding the nuclear deal concluded with Iran several months ago. It has become increasingly clear in recent weeks that instead of making the removal of Iran’s nuclear weapons development capability its primary goal, the Obama administration is all but ceding regional hegemony to the Islamic Republic, at the expense of Israel and the US’s other erstwhile allies in the Middle East, in exchange for temporary restrictions on that weapons program.

Additionally, Obama has chosen to publicly confront or rebuke Israel where previous American presidents have not, and has offered a lackluster defense, if any, for the Jewish State in the face of an emboldened effort to hurt Israel economically through labeling and BDS, However, even with all those accomplishments to his credit, the president remains jealous of the Palestinians for the role they have embraced. “My work as a community organizer involved hands-on interaction with the communities and people most closely involved in the struggle for change,” recalled Obama. “I often still yearn for that hands-on involvement in causes in which I believe. In this case, as it happens, I must back-stab Israel only in a metaphorical sense. One day that may change, but for now it is someone else’s role.”

The president also lamented that while Palestinians were very literally running over Israelis with motor vehicles, he and Secretary of State John Kerry were still confined the the metaphorical sense of throwing Israel under the bus.