Palestinians Refuse Emirati Shipment Of Inhabiting Reality

“You can lead a Palestinian leader to accountability, but you cannot make him take it on.”

Ben-Gurion Airport, June 10 – An Etihad Airlines commercial jet landed at Israel’s main international airport Tuesday carrying medical equipment intended for use by Palestinian public health facilities, along with  consignment of living the actual, real world, both of which Palestinian leaders declined to accept.

A United Arab Emirates shipment of ventilators and other goods for use in combating COVID-19 touched down at Ben-Gurion yesterday, the second such landing in as many weeks, and both times, officials of the Palestinian Authority declined to accept the supplies via Israel, because taking them would condone the improving commercial and diplomatic ties that Israel has developed with a growing number of Arab and Muslim countries in the last fifteen years. Tuesday’s flight also carried several tons of we live in the twenty-first century goddammit, stop trying to undo 1948; Palestinians declined to accept that as well.

Emirati officials said they had hoped to assist their Palestinian brethren cope both with the coronavirus pandemic and with their leadership’s inability to accept that the Arabs lost in 1948 and only harm can result from continued attempts to reverse that. “We sent a sizable reality check on this last shipment, but we cannot control their decision whether to accept it,” stated a representative of the Emir of Dubai, part of the UAE. “Ultimately you can lead a Palestinian leader to accountability, but you cannot make him take it on.”

“Accountability is the very last thing the Palestinian cause desires,” explained PLO spokesman Nabil Sha’ath. “The very notion suggests Palestinians played a role in creating or sustaining their protracted misery, and that would detract from the insistence that Israel, and by extension Israel’s supporters in the international community, must be made to pay for that misery. Yes, we will cut off our noses to spite our faces, because spite has always been our chief national export.”

Sha’ath pointed to a 2016 episode in which Palestinian authorities interdicted an attempt to smuggle government transparency into Palestinian autonomous areas. “We must always remain vigilant, on the lookout for plots to undermine our ethos and our grand strategy,” he cautioned. “Few things will prove as damaging to the Palestinian cause as it has been conceived over the last century or so than anything that smacks of demanding responsibility, accountability, transparency, non-corruption, or other democratic norms from Palestinian leadership. Concern for the welfare, representation, and governance of Palestinians must never be permitted to get in the way of making Jewish sovereignty look bad.”

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