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People, You’re Supposed To THANK The Jews For Making Me Die For Your Sins

By Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God

jesus-facepalmLet me get this straight: the Jews are collectively held responsible for having me crucified, in doing so proving instrumental to my purpose in dying for all the sins of humanity, and you people condemn and persecute them for it? You’ve got it backwards, imbeciles. You should be endlessly thanking them for the good they’ve done for you. Without them, you’d all be damned, because I wouldn’t have suffered and died to save you!

Forget for a moment the problematic notion of blaming an entire people through hundreds of generations for the alleged acts of a few, or even a few hundred. Also forget the fact that it was the Romans who were in charge at the time, and I was quite the threat to public order – that was sort of the point, what with my being a preacher of radical change and all. The Establishment seldom reacts well to that kind of activity. Par for the course. Yet you don’t see Rome held up as an enemy of Christianity, unless you’re Protestant. But the Protestant thing is a discussion for others to have; if you think I’m going there, you’re crazy.

No, let us accept for argument’s sake the premise that the Jews, collectively, are to be held accountable for my temporal suffering and death on the Cross. That means they made everyone’s salvation from the eternal perdition of Original Sin possible, and the rest of you owe them an eternal debt of gratitude and support. Instead, you’ve done every possible wrong to them, plus a few impossible ones, and still insist, nearly two thousand years later, that they’ve done something horribly evil. It doesn’t look too good from my perspective.

The thing is, if you try to argue it wasn’t necessary to have me killed, you undermine your own argument and end up agreeing with the Jews the whole time, since they don’t have a doctrine of Original Sin that would require my death to happen in the first place! You’ve put yourselves in quite a bind: either you need my death to save you from the Sin, in which case the Jews are heroes, or you don’t, which means the Jews have been right to oppose Christianity all along.

You could have, you know, just left the Jews alone. It’s still possible. But let’s be realistic: how many of you are going to change your ways now, after all this time being committed to the familiar old hate?

Maybe my death wasn’t enough to get rid of certain sins.

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