Report Of Muslims Serving In IDF Gives Roger Waters Brain Aneurysm

Neurologists suggested that the challenge to his sensibilities presented by actual facts may have been too much for his system to assimilate.

Credit: Alterna2 via Wikimedia Commons

Southampton, Long Island – Former Pink Floyd bassist and frontman Roger Waters suffered a bulge in a cerebral artery today upon being informed that the Israeli military includes Arab Muslims among its soldiers.

A spokesman for the musician told reporters that Waters had been hospitalized and was undergoing tests and observation following an incident this morning in which a friend on social media had shared images of the Israel Defense Force making accommodations two weeks ago for the Muslims in its ranks to observe the evening meal to break the daytime fast, an occasion called iftar. Witnesses recounted that the singer/songwriter and political activist began to slur his speech and lose his balance, leading those present to summon an ambulance. Waters is said to be in stable condition, in an induced coma to reduce blood flow to his brain and mitigate the risk of a deadly or debilitating stroke.

The spokesman, Hugh Jass, conceded surgery may be necessary. “It must have come as quite a shock to him, that Arab Muslims – I think this was actually a picture of some Bedouin IDF soldiers – serve alongside Jews in Israel’s military,” he offered. “The physicians have told Roger’s family and friends that often the only way to address a sudden weakening and bulging of an artery wall in such a sensitive portion of the brain is to operate. We expect such surgery to take place within a day or two, depending on how urgent the doctors feel it has become.”

Waters has spent years railing against Israel as an oppressive, Apartheid entity that denies political rights to Arabs. Neurologists suggested that the challenge to his sensibilities presented by actual facts may have been too much for his system to assimilate. “It happens occasionally,” explained Dr. Guido Nidno of Mount Sinai Medical Center in Manhattan. “The body has various defenses against various kinds of trauma, and shutting down the brain is one of them. Some minds might resort to insanity, and others do not handle the shock so well.”

The musician’s loved ones have been maintaining a vigil at the private hospital where Waters is receiving treatment, noted Jass, and other supporters of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions movement against Israel have voiced their sympathy. “There is definitely one dilemma I expect the treatment team has encountered,” he revealed. “Some of the most effective and economical treatments and drugs were developed by Israeli researchers and companies, so one wonders how just how hypocritical Roger would want them to be under the circumstances.”

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